I feel really good, from not being able to finish my food today.
Nothing seems to taste nice anymore.
Sorry I haven't been reading my flist in such a long while. Will catch up soon. Or maybe not. I don't know, I don't even use LJ much anymore. I totally forgot the existence of ihearttvshows.
I KNOW.
- Beef noodles are EWWWW.
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bsb87angel- February 22nd, 2009
- Each morning I get up I die a little
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- bsb87angel
- May 16th, 2008
rejected
Dear Jamie,
Be strong. It will all be over, soon. Let's look forward to something new after that!
Love,
Jamie
- maybe i should have listened to the naysayers
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- bsb87angel
- April 22nd, 2008
exhausted
I have less than 2 months.
I have less than 4 hours for study time on weekdays.
I have less than 7 weekends left.
I'd probably need a miracle.
Somebody please remind me why I'm putting myself through this?
- Just when you thought you couldn't stand work anymore...
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- bsb87angel
- February 14th, 2008
high
You hear that BSB is slated to perform in KL instead of Manila. Yeppers.
Initially, Manila was pretty tempting. Which wasn't a very feasible idea because Jamie is quite broke. So she gave up plans and sunk back to the horrible reality of everyday work. Then came KL: which was super duper (to the power of infinity) tempting!!!!! So there you go, my mind (heart and soul) is set on KL and I'm going for my second BSB concert!!!
PS: Work isn't that bad.... but on a daily basis it's just.... detrimental.
Thank God for the things that make mydayyear every now and then... just like how this KL concert came along.
Thank you for saving my pathetic soul.
- My true thinspiration? Hayden.
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- bsb87angel
- February 4th, 2008
- inspired
Not Christensen, of course.
It's Panettiere.
She's no thinspo. But hey, she's a workout junkie.
She's my inspiration.
Gawddamn, I'd die for toned legs and arms like hers!
BYE SKINNY THINSPOS! You inspire me NO MORE.
- Best Friends
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- bsb87angel
- January 24th, 2008
hopeful
Friends do come and go, huh?
In primary school, we became friends because we were stuck in the same class. We did stupid things like prank-calling the Tinkle Friends hotline. We called ourselves "The Bonkers". We wrote long and sometimes meaningless letters to each other even though we spoke on the phone everyday. We loved to sing the opening theme of "Pinky and the Brain". We'd take tons of neoprints and examine our facial expressions later. We once giggled non-stop for half an hour because I was mimicking AJ's hand pose in a poster from Teenage magazine. We both liked Fann Wong. I think she still does. See. See what I mean?
In secondary school, we became friends because we had each other for recess! We'd visit the nearby bakery or the bubbletea shop after school for our daily fix. We clicked because a certain someone always talked behind our backs. We looked out for one another because we had a mutual "enemy". We loved writing letters, using cutesy letterpads and envelopes. We'd talk about boys and random stuff in our letters. She'dbribeinvite me to church by saying "We'll go shopping after the sunday service!". We spoke on the phone everyday, most of the time about crushes and irritating little sisters. I used to think we could really be BFFs (Best Friends Forevaaaa) but I was wrong.
People change.
Anyho, I am truly blessed to have a couple of BFFs now, even after graduating from polytechnic. Not many; but hey, life is not a popularity contest. I'd rather have a few close friends than have many friends.
- We love WIKI!
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- bsb87angel
- December 5th, 2007
If you need definitions of certain terminologies (like the big bang or grey matter), Wikipedia is your best friend.
Guess what, there's Heroeswiki!!! I am officially a Heroes fan. Damnit. I missed Heroes sighting in town last September.
Yeah, yeah I know that everyone has caught the "Heroes" fever like months back. I am kinda slow in this when it comes to teevee because my family doesn't subscribe to cable TV! Boohoo. It's no secret that episodes of these television drama series are easily available for download from the Internet. Frankly speaking, I'm not exactly fond of watching from the laptop. So...
When it comes to the latest, happening and much-talked-about television drama series, Channel 5 is mybestonly friend.
In other updates... I got tagged byjaannonymous last month! OOPS.
I'm still gonna do it 'cause I feel terribly-sadhappy !
The rules are easy, just post 6-12 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 6 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in awhile.
In random order because my brain's too lazy to rank them:
(1) My trip to KL with my bff and her bf! Mmmm. All I had was good food!!! Mmmm. I like.
(2) The release of Unbreakable!
(3) A one year membership with Amore Fitness!
(4) Being able to curb my voracious appetite since Sunday!boysareliers - Thanks babe, skinnylove!
(5) Daily evening jogs.
(6) Supernatural on DVD!!! :D I've been wanting to get the DVD set for the longest period of time!
(7) Channel 5 just started airing Season 2 of Supernatural! Slow, I know. -___- But hey yay, Fridays are going to be head-home-after-work days for me!
(8) The more I stay at home, the less money I spend outside = awesome.
(9) More responsibilities at work. I'm enjoying the amount of workload. It's just fine. Pretty managable.
Now I shall tagkaostic , novocainebandit , iruka11 , boysareliers !
- I don't know what to make of this.
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- bsb87angel
- November 27th, 2007
http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest+News/Singapore/STIStory_180546.html
The news of their death saddened me. I don't know them personally but it kinda struck me.
They were five very promising and talented young men and *poof* their lives were taken away just like that. What a waste. I hope their family and friends find peace in their memories of their son/friend.
...
I haven't found out what I'm good at. I don't know what my true calling in life is.
- Freakiest nightmare ever.
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- bsb87angel
- October 7th, 2007
A brain surgeon was operating on my left brain.
I was awake, and it was a very, very painful process.
I could feel the wet blood dripping at the back of my head.
Brain
To dream of your brain, suggests that you are under severe intellectual stress.
Operation
To dream that you are in operation, suggests that you need to get something out of your system. Perhaps you need to let go of something or change your habits. You need to cut something out of your life.
Pain
To dream that you are in pain, signifies that you are being too hard on yourself with regards to a situation that was out of your control.
Blood
To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you.
It makes sense when you put the pieces together. This is seriously giving me the creeps.
- Lost at 20.
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- bsb87angel
- October 5th, 2007
listless
What is God’s plan for me? What is His plan for you?I cannot move on. I cannot quit lamenting because I see no future/real purpose in my life.I cannot move on with the fact that I scored mediocre results for ‘O’ levels.Regret #1: Didn’t study hard enough. Why didn’t I!Regret #2: Dropped A Maths. Why did I even listen to Mrs John?Regret #3: Vomiting during History paper. Why did it have to be me?Too many regrets and too late. When I received my result slip from Miss Ng, I pretended that I was satisfied with my mediocre results. Out of 6 subject passes, only 2 were above average passes. I really wanted to cry. I knew I was going to say “adios” to business and mass communications courses. Thankfully I scraped through polytechnic, somehow.Still, the future is rather bleak.I cannot move on with the fact that I couldn’t get a place in any of the local universities this year.I cannot move on with the fact that my grades (are once again) not good enough to get what I want.Do you know what the difference is? This time round I knew I did my best, maybe not my 100% -‘cause I was this close to entering the school’s Roll of Honours.What do I want?To be able to study in a local university. Start afresh, do bridging courses- I don’t care. Do Arts (and major in Communications and New Media or something), not Computing. I could do Computing at NUS, but I wouldn’t want to. I’d die. Honestly, I’d love to study in Australia but it’s gonna set me back by 150k. I don’t know if I’d ever get that lump sum of money any time soon. My parents couldn’t care less and that makes me really sad. ): C’mon, does it hurt to read up about education loans or at least sit me down and talk to me about why we can’t borrow money to study overseas?I want to study Mass Communications but SIM-RMIT only offers it part time. Hell no, I’d rather do full time in Australia.MDIS? I heard they really suck at time-tables and such. Moreover, what, MDIS-OCU? Nobody knows OCU like they know UWA or UNSW. Anyway, most American degrees are too general and expensive.I don’t want to be stuck with this pathetic looking diploma. Sadly, in Singapore if you don’t have at least a degree- you’re probably gonna get shit from people.Oh crap, I really hate thinking about the future. I feel heavy-hearted and sick of myself everytime I think about it. ):
Recently, Edmund mentioned that I’m not the same quiet, reserved and blur Jamie he used to know back then in secondary school. Of course, I always look hyper and happy to everyone now.In fact, it’s easy to look and make oneself happy. Talk about short-lived happiness.Oh sure, when Leehom came to town, I was happy.When I met the Backstreet Boys, I was happy.When I got my new cell phone, I was happy.But how happy is happy? I am not exactly HAPPY happy.I need to get out and do purposeful activities; not just shopping, singing, clubbing, internet surfing, or random squeeing to make myself feel content. I miss my volunteering days with RP Rotaract Club. Gone were the days when volunteering opportunities were abundant with the help from the club. Anyway, I found YouthBank from an ad in MSN messenger. You can volunteer anytime you like as long as you have time.I am not going to attempt to save the world, because I can’t. I just can't.This is a sick sad world we live in. Humans are fed up with each other, killing each other; icebergs are melting, Tsunamis occurring, islands sinking… Everyone says we need to “Save our Earth”.Yes, we all know that “Saving our Earth” is our responsibility.But how, I mean really- how to SAVE her? We can prevent, cut down on wastage, but ultimately you and I know that Earth is going to die soon.I know it doesn’t make sense to whine and complain about the future and then talk about the end of our world…… My mind’s in quite a mess now.Note to flist: I am sorry for flooding your page.
- Test your happiness
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- bsb87angel
- August 3rd, 2007
melancholy
Psychologists say it is possible to measure your happiness.
I took this test, and I got:
Slightly below average in life satisfaction
Oh yeah, NUS offered me the job. *am shocked*
Anyways, I'm granting myself a one month holiday in September! YAY.
I really need a break away from this activity called 'work'.
PS: Looking at www.backstreetboys.com makes me feel sad. ):
- I am running out of ideas on what to do with my life.
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- bsb87angel
- July 19th, 2007
calm
So you see, I was rejected by NUS for undergraduate studies this year. Lost and dejected, I've decided that I should work for a year and reapply again next year. I'm not throwing in the towel, yet.
If it doesn't work out again for me next year, then I'llbawl my eyes out andbeg my mom to send me to Australia.
I guess I will most likely end up in SIM or MDIS next year. Then I'll be a really sad and depressed person. I'm not trying to say that their distance-learning degrees are lousy; it's just that the environment's bleak and dull. Like, really dull. I've heard so much about SIM from Wai Ting and I'm not hearing nice things at all. I think I need to end this whole chapter on inferiority. I tend to think alot and make myself feel worse.
Anyway, onto career (okay, a temporary full time job):
A while ago, I saw this job advertisement for a non-academic position at NUS.
"Management Support Officer" (administrative assistant)
You must think I'm desperate, right? Why NUS? It's always interesting to work in schools. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for the corporate office world yet...
Yours truly was always a salesperson, tutor, customer service person, but never an admin person. I thought it'll be interesting to start out in admin work in a school office, instead of some corporate office.
Here's the update: I went for an interview at NUS FASS Economics department today. I was interviewed by a panel of 4 professors (Parkash Chander, Basant K. Kapur, Lim Boon Tiong, Sun Yeneng). *yes I'm actually too free to search for their names*
I felt that the interview was going well until I mentioned that I am intending to further my studies. *Super sigh* Oh well, I did mention that I could work for them for about a year... Still, the Econs Head wasn't convinced.
And oh boy, I was glad that Lim Boon Tiong has some idea of what Republic Polytechnic's PBL methodology is all about. He's very nice and friendly, alongside with this other professor, Sun Yeneng. For once, I actually feel proud of the school that I hated so much for 3 years.
I thought Parkash Chander and Basant K. Kapur weren't very fond of me. They were very straightforward; I suppose this was why they had 4 professors to interview me. 2 played the "bad guy" and 2 played the "good guy"
I didn't regret telling them that I wanted to further my studies next year. I would have felt worse if I'd lied my way in and quit the job next year, leaving a bad impression behind.
I should stop blabbering for now.
- This is seriously, the last straw.
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- bsb87angel
- June 27th, 2007
distressed
I don't know if I'm downright unlucky but I just (like, minutes ago) saw 2 unauthorised debit card transactions in my bank account. 2 US-based companies are playing fraud on me. I can't believe this. I'm already broke enough, I have no idea to why they'd want to rob me of my money. -___-
ARGH. Why, God, why me?????
To top it all off, my mom's incessant nagging is annoying me so badly I wished I was dead.
Your life's in a mess and you don't have an agenda now, well then I guess you're better off dead.
- Why don't you just bite the dust already?
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- bsb87angel
- June 26th, 2007
infuriated
1. CRAP, I just can't get over it.
I'm not going to give up and settle for something else.
2. We got cheated at the Fashion Bazaar.
I've a truckload of things to sell.
3. I'm so broke.
Haven't repaid everyone yet.
4. I'm still not talking to him.
It's not my damn fault that he's fucking pushy and egoistic.
Somehow I feel like I've betrayed him but he shouldn't have done that!
5. Bestie's drifting away from me now.
I've got Kimmie (she's awesome like an elder sister). But my bestie! It's never going to be the same again. D:
6. My mom wants us to move house because she's sick and tired of paying off the house loans. Well doesn't that mean that they have more money to at least, fund me a bit for my overseas studies? They said no. They're not supportive at all. I feel like I'm gonna choke on my emotions one of these days and go berserk.
I feel pathetic now. I lead a sad, sad life.
Why am I living such a life now?
I am so annoyed with myself.
I think I need to see a shrink.
I need my happy pill.
- It's not the end of the world yet, but...
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- bsb87angel
- May 30th, 2007
crushed
I just wanna take my passport and just fly to Bali, Bintan or some nice holiday resort overseas; RIGHT NOW.
I feel lost, alone, and everything else.
Elitism is everything in Singapore.
I worked so hard and the best I got was achieving top 6-10% of my diploma cohort. So what, there's not much value in my damn diploma.
Efffffffft. I missed the roll of honours by 0.06? If only I'd worked harder. IF ONLY.
I am pissed with myself for being such a dumbass.
I refuse to settle for a degree via distance learning. It's just so second rate.
I HATE THIS. SHIT.
I am going to shut myself away from everyone else.
- Please, work something out or I'll go insane.
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- bsb87angel
- April 29th, 2007
stressed
Bestie feels like quitting her office job.
Wai Ting feels like quitting her hotel job.
Thank God I kinda enjoy my job. Yes, the kids are lovable and they're starting to grow on me and all. However, it's tiring to nag and raise my voice at them everyday.
I just don't like the idea of working. I hate to work.
I can afford not to work because I am still freaking 19, okay 20 this year. Selfish thinking? Maybe.
Bottomline is, I'm still working even though my heart tells me not to.
My dad? He will be shaking his legs at home after he closes his stall for good, come end April.
Honestly, I think my mom's about to give up on him anytime soon.
And I, will not let that happen. I am going to irritate the shit out of him again. I don't care if he thinks I'm rude.
- Maybe
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- bsb87angel
- March 28th, 2007
frustrated
I've always thought I knew what I wanted to do in the future.
MAYBE I DON'T KNOW.
I don't know. Way too many doubts and uncertainties.
I have this strong feeling that I'll end up working full-time after polytechnic studies.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! ):
- I hate Murphy's Law.
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- bsb87angel
- February 20th, 2007
pensive
Murphy's law is a popular adage that states that "things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance," or more commonly, "whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."
And so, I've planned all my flights to KL and back to BKK. Just to catch Leehom's concert in KL (ORGINALLY ON 3rd March) during my BKK trip.
Seriously WTF. I've planned my flight to arrive and depart KL on the 1st and 4th respectively (in the morning).
Not only am I pissed off, I am sad. Sad sad sad sad sad. ))):
I hope that Winnie gets well soon during my 6 days away from home, from tomorrow onwards. And there's another 7 days away from home after that. Oh gawd, someone please bring the poor shih tzu to the vet already!
I really have no idea why bad things always happen to my family and I during Chinese New Year. Maybe we're under a curse. Maybe it's bad fengshui. Maybe God's trying to punish us. Maybe, maybe.
- Sometimes I really amuse myself.
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- bsb87angel
- February 12th, 2007
surprised
Today's the last day of school. BYEEEE RP.
And I find myself having a last minute fangirlish crush on this admin guy at the one-stop centre. TSK TSK.
I can't help but notice, really! I've been there frequently because I needed to collect and make changes to my academic transcript.
OMG. He said, "I think I remember you".
*dies*
I think he's pretty new at work. He's so cute, okay.
//END OF JOKE.Well, I guess I'm still quite childish.
That's just... normal.
- Broke, but happy.
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- bsb87angel
- February 11th, 2007
excited
Sometimes; when the going gets tough- all you need to do is to stop, relax, and think about all the awesome events that are going to happen real soon.
March 2007:
- Bangkok Trip (28 feb to 7 mar)
- Leehom's concert (3 mar)God, I am REALLY going to fly with MAS! That is, from Bangkok to KL.
Why am I that excited? I've been flying with budget airlines for the past 3 years.
The last time I flew with a full-service airline (Thai Airways) was during primary 3. HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT!I am going to eat good food on the plane. Hoho. And I'm going to drink 'til my heart's content.
Anyways, I'm going to fly with Jetstar Asia to Bangkok again. This time round, I must really double-check that they print "BKK" on the luggage tag and not "HKG" or some other country.
I love travelling. It rocks my socks. XD
Random: I need to MAKE a new layout. I want a freaking paid account! *pouts*( TO DO list. )